The Shady News of Thora

While reading today about the despicable plaigary of cjane's blog cjane enjoy it, I was reminded of an earlier episode of plagiarism. Several months ago Sue of Navel Gazing at its Finest dealt with the same issue of another blogger lifting her posts wholesale and re-posting them as her own.

When I read of this deplorable occurrence, my first thought, I must admit, was, "Is Sue talking about me?" This is not a back handed confession of me having stolen my love Saga from someone else, nor are these pictures of my children actually of youth living in Barbados. In truth, I have never plagiarized in my life. Rather, I am party to a strange phenomenon of always believing that perhaps I have committed a crime, an offense, an illegal or sinful act, and just don't know about it.

When I was a child I remember hearing an apocryphal story of a nun who gave birth to a child she had no memory of conceiving. She had multiple personality disorder - undiagnosed - and by night led a different life that clearly involved unlawful congress with a man who prefers women who either are wearing nightgowns or nun's habits. Although I'm convinced as an adult this story smacks of fiction, for years the gist of the story has stuck with me, like a PB&J sandwich with too much enthusiastic application of the Peanut Butter.

What if I have multiple personality disorder? Sure, I have a legitimate blog I visit by day, but what if by night I have a second, shadier blog, whose archived posts are a virtual Hall of Fame, with stolen blog posts from the greats of blog-dom? What if Sue was talking about me? Maybe I am Miss Musings, as well. Who knows, I could even be a nun by night!

Although being married, and spending my nights next to a man whom I would hope would notice perpetual night time activities, whether of the virtual or actual kind, I still get a thrill of primal uncertainty whenever I hear of misdeeds done by an anonymous party. I have spent a lot of time since marriage waking up tired - which I had heretofore believed came from spending the night dealing with nocturnally minded children. Yet, perhaps, this is due to my famous dark of the moon persona's life, and not my progeny after all....

As a female teenager, I often contemplated what I would do if I became pregnant. Not that I had promiscuous ways, but specifically if I became pregnant as the Virgin Mary - a sort of secular immaculate conception. Or as that pesky Nun's alternate night life ego. Either way, I spent much time trying to work out how I would deal with the presumed belief of others in my injured innocence. How I could convince the world that despite all evidences to the contrary, I had managed for only the second time in history to transcend Mortal means of begetting? But truly I worried, hypothetically, that all my maidenly airs would be for naught, for my alter ego would only like me to believe I am innocent.

Despite this post's evidence of the contrary, in reality I consider myself a well grounded person, who suffers from zero tendencies towards psychological disorders, nor to either plagiarism, secret night lives, or even to spending my nights in strange and forgotten immoral paths. But every time I hear or read of yet another dastardly story of guilt, once again I am besieged by the age old doubt; "What if this time, it really is me? What if cjane or Sue or the Nuns are talking about me - about The Shady News of Thora?"