Friday, April 17, 2009

The Minister of Liberia (IRS) Sent Me Money

Today we got our tax refund automatically deposited into our account. It's exactly $2,000 more than we sent in for. What does this mean?

We didn't think we qualified for the child tax credits, which would be worth $2,000, so I'd like to believe that the nice, kindly people with plenty of time on their hands at the IRS organization just took a moment of their copious time to fix
that little problem, and that's why we got more back. Sounds good to you, right?

How we felt when we saw the extra money

Maybe it's just a mistake, and next month the IRS men are going to come knocking at our door, while carrying violin cases stuffed with guns, and wearing black suits and sunglasses like in Men In Black. They'll ask me in Italian Accents where's the money, and I'll have to pay them with my blood, since I spent the money vacationing in Tijuana (or paying off student loan debt from going to Egypt, but that's less exciting, although there was in the congregate a lot more clothing involved than Tijuana in Spring Break has).

How I would feel if they took it back, now that I've been tantalized with extra money.
Sometimes in elementary school (or college) when I got something wrong on a quiz, and the teacher graded it right, even if I told her about it, she would leave it right on my score because it was her mistake to grade it wrong. And then there were those teachers who when you pointed this out said, "oh, thanks" and promptly dropped your A to a D-, where it rightfully belonged. In the grand spectrum of teacher tender mercies, where does the IRS fall? I'm thinking the D- end.

So would the honest thing be to write them, and say, "hey, you gave me a lot of money. And while I respect that with such a honking budget as we currently have, some of it should go to the little guys, and I am qualitatively about the littlest guy out here in America, I think you didn't quite mean to actually give the REAL people in America money, so maybe you should take it back?" Or should I just keep quiet and if in the next three years no UZZI men have shown up at my door spend the money then? Should I assume this is my child tax credits? Should I do a $2,000 giveaway on my blog for whoever gives me the best idea of what to do with an unexpected $2,000? (Which of course I would not then have to do anything with, you would. So you should all tell me what you would do with an unexpected $2,000. Because, as much as I love sand in my string bikinis [just so you don't collectively gasp at this point, I have never gotten sand in any bikini I've ever owned. In fact, I at first spelled it 'bakini' that is how little exposure I have to the product.]*, I really just want to pay for all the shoes I bought in Egypt. [just kidding. I really only bought five or six pairs. Which is really good for me. I own upwards of thirty pairs of shoes. I can't help it, they love me, and I love them.])

*Avram still didn't get it. So let me further clarify that I was referring to the meta-vacation of Spring Break in Tijuana. And I don't own any bikinis. I've never owned a bikini. I don't know what a bikini is (oh, wait, scratch it on the last one).

PS - wouldn't you give this girl a child tax credit?


  1. No matter how hard I try I CANNOT get Minister Of Liberia to equal IRS. :)

    Congratulations on the extra cash! I wouldn't do anything about it. Wait for the MIB guys to come. It will totally add adventure to your life, never knowing if they're coming or not. . .

    I mean, do the giveaway!!

    And mostly I'm sure it's the child tax credit thing, but funky and strange that they fixed it themselves.

    And I love your reflections on teacher tender mercies. :)

  2. Well, I think you should keep it--it's real money for child tax credit and i think you should start looking at good deals to come to the family reunion. Egypt shoes aside, the whole family really wants to see you and Lydia.
    This is really Mom. My computer died so I use Don's until the Minister of Liberia puts a massive sum in my account.

  3. I wouldn't worry about it too much. And I'd keep the money. Its quite possible they found something you didn't and you're really entitled to it. They did that with us one year (there had been a change in the tax laws, and they were in error giving us more, but I received unofficial advice from a tax person who said we didn't make enough to warrant an audit, so they weren't going to find it...and they didn't).

    As far as the A vs. D- teachers, my father used to be a teacher. Back before I was born, they went out to dinner one night, and my father left a stack of the students' tests out to grade. My mother's dog, in a fit of pique over them going out, ate the tests. My father made them retake the test! Definitely a D- teacher...LOL.