Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Ode to the Broken Synapses, which Cannot Fire! (that's what she said; kind of pathetic, really)

I had a very busy day planned for today; Dropping off the girl's at a ward member's house, then going to the Church Cannery (taking her order and mine). Then Visiting Teaching (which ended up not happening because she's sick), then picking up Flor from the doctor's again. Three big things, and although one didn't happen, I planned out my day to the minute, basically, because except for an hour and a half I was home in the middle (thanks to the cancelled appointment) I was gone from 8:45 in the morning until 5:30 at night. Not that working moms aren't always gone that long, but somehow it seems longer the more kids you tag along with you and the more stops there are in the middle.

Anyway, the point of the this post isn't to brag about my busy day, but rather to point out how although I managed to stay on top of the large details, the small ones about swamped me.

Example one. After going to the cannery (where I on impulse bought 60 dollars worth of food storage food, because I realized once I arrived that I actually hadn't planned what I would can, and so decided to get a can here and a can there until I got a whole case (six cans), and some hard white wheat (50 lbs), and hey, we eat oatmeal! And it's cheaper per pound to buy it in the bag (25 lb bag). Avram gave me this look when he saw it all. Although, it's food storage, right? Its supposed to be extra food. And it's all stuff we eat. It's not like I went crazy and bought the Tang drink or anything. Plus if I manage to only spend $35 dollars on groceries for the next two weeks, we won't go over the food budget (cue laughter here). Not that we don't have extra money to cover it....more that I hate messing up my beautiful budgets.

Whew. Back to example one. After going to the cannery, I bought some gas. Except when the meany card machine made me go into the store and buy it from the attendant, because it was a debit card. While paying for it, the attendant, a middle aged semitic looking man said, "You speak Hebrew, don't you."

"Um yes. A little (which I said in hebrew). How did you know?"

"I can just tell. I speak Hebrew too [said in Hebrew]. I am Arab [and for everyone who thought that when I said "semitic" I meant "Jewish" should know that Arabs are semite too.]"

I then told him I had learned Arabic as well, and bade him farewell in said language, and he said goodbye to me in Hebrew.

I was baffled. How did he know I spoke Hebrew? I'm a caucasion female wearing a big coat. And my name is Thora. Mmmm. Maybe there's a sign on my forehead. (The only other thing I thought of is maybe Avram's name somehow came up. The cashier's name was Abe, so maybe...

While pondering over all of this, I got in my car, and drove away. A half a block later, I looked at my tank, to see how full ten dollars had gotten me (I try and get as little gas as possible because I like to play the "let's see how much the gas cost will go down before I absolutely must buy gas because I am running on the memory of fumes.), and it hadn't increased at all! He didn't get me any gas! How rude! And then I realized that in my surprise at being an open language book, I had completely forgotten to pump the gas, but instead had just paid for it and driven off. I'm the opposite of people who get gas and then then drive off without paying. Look at all the good karma I am accruing in the world.

Actually, I took my good karma back, because I turned right around, and got my ten dollars worth from the station (luckily no one had come up to my pump).

Exampe Two. After picking Flor up from the dentist. (I forgot to bring something to do while waiting for her appointment to end. I believe there is nothing more pointless than sitting in a doctor's office with nothing to do. I tried passing the time by reading pamphlets on glaucoma and taking care of ones vision as one ages (it was a dual vision office - the same one we were in last week. Tomorrow It'll be the medical doctor's office downstairs. But tomorrow I'm bringing my knitting.) I put Elisheva in the car, and Flor put Lydia in, after first checking with me that she was doing it right, which I confirmed. Three blocks into driving, I realized that I had put them in the wrong car seats. Lydia was facing backwards, her feet scrunched up the seat back, and Elisheva was slumped over in Lydia's upright chair, already starting to cry from the uncomfortable position. Unfortunately, I couldn't really stop because we were getting on the freeway, and so I had to wait until Flor's house to switch them. Fun times.

In conclusion, I can only think that there's only so much of my brain to go around, and I must have used it all on the big ticket items today.


  1. Oh my gosh! I laughed myself to tears while reading this! Not sure if that is a legitimate phrase but if it's not I guess I just created it.
    Thora, you are so funny.
    And I have to say that I probably would break down after doing that much in one day, even without any little ones! You are amazing.

  2. This is hilarious. You paid for gas you didn't pump and put your three year old in a infant seat and vice versa? Hilarious.

    Sounds like you did the opposite thing to what I did in the grocery store, but it's nice to know I'm not the only on who isn't all there at times.

  3. You are too funny! Just your daily live is a funny tale.

  4. HA HA HA

    That is so funny, and sounds like just about every day of my life. I allways feel like such a dork, that these little things escape me.

    I wonder how he knew you speak Hebrew? That is werid.

  5. even on a normal errand day of yours there is interesting and funny stories! i am amazed that man knew you spoke hebrew. maybe you said his name with a hebrew sound or something?? and i hate busy days with little ones. there is always too much crying on their part and too much stress on mine!