Tuesday, November 25, 2008

The End of the Tunnel

In an hour and a half I'll pick Avram up from the airport. Hallelujah! Although the last two days haven't been bad at all; I've worked on both of them. Since I'm at work from 5:30 (or 5:00) in the morning until 4:30 (or 4:00) at night, that's a major chunk of the day taken up. I won't say that I'm always super productive, because when you have four kids to take care who are three and under, and you're not in your own house, there is only so much you can get done. Which is basically take care of kids, and read sometimes (because it's easily interruptible. Easily meaning it's not like interrupting painting a chair, not easy like if it's Avram and not a kid trying to interrupt me I never budge.)

I must say the low point came Sunday, when we didn't manage to make it to church - which starts at 1:30 pm. Also, Lyda spilled wheat all over the kitchen floor (part of the reason we didn't get to church, no one ever changed out of their pajamas, and Lydia made dinner for the family. It's true - I had left out lunche's makings (PB&J sandwiches) on the table, and around 4:30 Lydia came into the living room with a squashed over piece of bread, and sat it on the sofa and began patting it. She soon let me know that it was for me. She then went and got hers from the kitchen - both had some peanut butter in the very center of the squished over bread. Then after we finished our first dinner course, Lydia decided we needed another, and went and made seconds just like the first (except this time I went and sneaked in some jelly on mine). What a sweetheart - and what a lame Mama.

I've realized a large part of why Avram being gone has been so hard for me. One of my five love languages is Time. Actually, I think that's almost my only love language. People I love I show it by spending time with them. In college I always spent all of my time with my various boyfriends from the beginning of each relationship. And although I fully understand couples having separate hobbies and activities, Avram and I like to do basically everything together. That's why I started role-playing; it was one of Avram's hobbies, and what would I do with myself if people came over to socialize with Avram, and I wasn't a part of it? I realize that this makes me sound like I'm weirdly possessive; I'm not. I'm just weirdly co-dependent. They're not quite the same thing.

I'm glad I remembered my love language, because Avram is the one in our relationship who does more traditional romantic things. He writes me love letters. Last Valentine's day he made a scavenger hunt in our home for me, along with little gifts, notes, and cards. Me? I went on the scavenger hunt. That's got to count for some romantic points, right? So now I can say, "I do love you; you can tell because I never let you have a moment's peace without me. That's true love." Actually Avram show love by time too, so we're all good. (And I believe that everyone has two love languages, although I haven't read the book, so this may just be a faulty memory. My second one (out of the five: Service, Time, Physical Affirmation, Verbal Affirmation, and Gifts) is probably verbal affirmation, ie, I love you. Avram's is Service. Man that guy does a lot for me. I'm definitely not a gifts person, either in giving or receiving. That's my biggest struggle with Christmas. I never know what to get for anyone, and so usually just don't want to give anything at all. I'm lame like that. And even getting gifts, while I appreciate it, doesn't do much for me (in a relationship context). I had a roommate who after a disagreement her fiancee showed up with a dozen lavender roses for her. She was thrilled. I was like, "Wait, you're engaged, do you really have money to waste on long stem roses right now? And how does this solve the disagreement?" Well, they're happily married now, so clearly this was mainly my own issues with gift giving as a way of showing love.

Also while I'm stuck in stream of consciousness, I read Mistborn by Brandon Sanderson over the weekend. Great book. It's fantasy, but it's refreshingly different, and well written, and clean (something sadly rare among adult fantasy. That's why for years I've mainly read YA fantasy). And he was at BYU getting his master's while I was there for my undergraduate, and although I never met him or even heard of him once while there, it's still like almost being famous and connected to a famou author. So put that on your to-read list after Wives and Daughters.

And you'll also be happy to know that the entire weekend I turned the heat down at night, turned off the lights myself and even (sort of) cooked dinners and the house is (mostly) clean. So, if Avram's plane goes down in a blaze of glory this evening, I will survive (in sha'allah it won't).

(Oh, and I never checked to see if the money worked out or if we'll have to pay a fee. I walk on the edge like that. Avram says he thinks it worked out fine.)


  1. You like YA Fantasy? How in the world did I not know this?

    We shall have to chat. And, the great thing is, it can be in person! Hurrah!

  2. I just finished book three of Mistborn. Wow wow wow. The first two don't even compare. It was incredible.

    Figuring out our love languages makes things so much easier. I'm a gift giver who want verbal affirmation, and Neil is a service giver who wants service (usually in the form of cooking).

    Umm...I'm going to go figure out what to make for dinner now...

  3. that love languages thing helps a lot, I think.

    Unfortuantly, for just about everyone in my life, what they really want from me is Time. Which I am VERY bad at giving. I'm all about service, and gifts.

    I love love love giving presents. LOVE it. :)

    And I'm glad you survived, and that Lydia learned to make sandwiches! Thats awsome!

  4. Yeah! I'm glad Avram is home so life can get back to normal--whatever that is. I'm glad it worked out that he could go and participate in the conference.

  5. I think I want ALL of those love language things! In large, equal portions!

  6. Lydia is AWESOME! I don't know any other two-year-old who would even think of making a meal to share with her mom. It's hard enough to convince a teenager that she's capable of such a feat. And she didn't even smear the peanut butter all over the couch! You are truly blessed.