Monday, October 20, 2008

The Frieburg Factor

For the first four months after Avram and I were married we were window washers for the now obsolete Deseret Towers. Every day, all day long we were together (along with our window washing buddy Daryl in the mornings). With all of the newlywed alone time at home, the extra eight hours at work were overkill, but we made it through by inventing the plot to a book. We're planning to publish it, and then you'll all buy it, and I'll make at least forty bucks.

We planned out three novels, called together The Frieburg Chronicles, composed of The Frieburg Factor, The Frieburg Code, and some other title that sounds good with "The Frieburg" in the beginning. Avram was inspired by a picture that Travis made for this title, and hence book. You can thus blame Travis for the following drek. The impetus came because we were talking with a member of Avram's home ward, Laury Frary (Insert married name here, because for the life of me I can't remember it) when we ran into her one day. She told us how her sister-in-law was a reader for one of the Mormon publishing houses; she test reads the books before they're published. I'd like to take a moment to say here that why is this not my job? I'd be a great test reader! I love to read Mormon Romances (Or MoRo as the previous Clement girls call it.) And I only deny this love occasionally. Plus I read really fast. Anyway, moving on....

Her SIL told her that a lot of the books that get published are bad. Really bad. If any of you share the same hobby I have, and are willing to admit it, then you know what I mean. Of course, there exists much good Mormon fiction as well. I love the Work and the Glory Series, by Gerald Lund. Children of the Promise series, by Dean Hughes, is well written. I even like A New Dawn by Jack Weyland. But there's a lot of badly overwritten impossible romantic scenarios as well. So Laura and her husband determined to write a Mormon Romance and get it published, since they figured they could manage to come up with some mediocre drivel together.

Avram and I determined to do the same, and although we never got to the actual writing stage, we worked out the whole plot while window washing - which said activity is a sure stimulant to the creative senses.

In a shortly forthcoming post I'll give you the synopsis. I just have to work out a couple of plot holes and add more references to the Frieburg Paintings. So, now you can put your name on the waiting list, to purchase my exciting, new piece of hud book.

To get you excited, it's a romance that deals with the lost ten tribes of Israel, the Golden Plates, Secret Combinations, CIA and FBI coverups, and of course, your necessary BYU moments of luuuve. Not to mention what Frieburg knew all along in his paintings....

Thank You.

Aspiring Authoress, Thora.


  1. The German Genealogist in me has to point out that should you be referring to that great Mormon artist of strapping Nephite warriors, you should spell it "Friberg".

    Last time I perused the Deseret Book catalog, there seemed to be a few books coming out in this vein. So hurry and write it and make your Mormon millions before someone else does!

    Love the MoRo. It's even better when you read it out loud!

  2. I trusted my Husband's spelling. I spelled it Freeburg. Friburg and then Frieburg. Clearly I was just trying to be an authentic MoRo with no actual research involved (okay, I know that most MoRo probably has research....)

  3. When you get your research on let me know, I'll hook you up with my friend Arianne. Cause see, she happens to be the dude's grand daughter. And no, I've yet to see any of his original work (other than what may be hanging in Church buildings/museum. Cause according to her, he's a bit... grouchy.

    There you go, your' first insider's bit. Work it in there somewhere.

  4. Currently there are 12 Fribergs on display at the Conference Center one however is not on display it is the one of Christ appearing to the Nephites. Partially this is because it had a very exposed and muscular Christ and so these were not popular with the Primary Presidency at the time which had commissioned the pictures.

  5. Oh and I'm already working on my response book

    "Debunking the Friburg Factor" :)

  6. Woah! Sounds like it's got everything. Waiting for the synopsis.

  7. Sounds right up my alley - sign me up!

    And hey, you know it's national novel writing month next month, right?

  8. I'll ghost write! I'll ghost write!

    Or, if you want to write it, I'll edit! I'll edit!

    WAAAY too much fun not to be in on. :-)