Confessions

1.My brother-in-law Samuel called yesterday, and no other adult was home, so we talked for a while. I really like to talk to Samuel, because we became good friends at BYU - after all, Avram and Samuel are best friends. For the first two years of our marriage, the person we saw the most outside of each other was Samuel, so in my life he was one of my closest friends. Have you ever known siblings who are truly each other's best friends? They are. Although I think that some in my family are that close too. Samuel and I almost never talk on the phone though; he usually talks to his mom or to Avram - which is fine and understandable. But sometimes, I like it when he calls and no one else is home, because then we get to talk. For one thing, we talk about role-playing, and our characters. And usually I only get to talk to Avram about that, so it's nice having a different viewpoint.

2.When people around me who don't understand reading blogs see me on the computer, it makes me self-conscious abut it, because I know that they think that I'm wasting my time. But then they read magazines, or the newspaper, or whatnot, and I really think that blogs are better than most magazine articles. More typos, but less blah blah.

3.I'm really excited for Avram to start school again; he really only thrives when he's attending school. Good thing he's getting a Phd, huh? And then he can become a professor, and never stop going to school. During Summers he gets aimless and goes crazy, although in the last few days he's attached himself to a history of Elizabeth I and so has some direction.

4.Lydia was waking in the middle of every night, and coming to sleep with us. But Avram, Elisheva, Lydia and I do not all fit on a double bed. Avram actually moved to the floor several times. So several days ago we put the round plastic cover things on the doorknob that make it so a kid can't open it, and although she got up the first night and rattled it while screaming for Daddy, since then she's slept like a charm.

5.There was a news article in the newspaper a few days ago about a missing women who had been gone for three years (although never reported), and the police found her in the freezer of her husband. For some reason this has stuck with me; the grossness of it all.

6.When I was pregnant with Lydia and used to have weird hormone-induced thoughts, I worried that somehow I would stick Lydia in the freezer once she was born. On accident, of course. Also, I worried that somehow I would accidentally put her in the oven. Avram joked about it once, to make me feel better, when we were looking in our oven after a cycle of self clean. It didn't make me feel better; I almost started crying.

7.I'm weird when I'm pregnant.

8.I've never stuck Lydia or Elisheva in the freezer, fridge, oven or microwave.

9.Now that I'm attached to Mormon Mommy Blogs, I've been getting new people looking at my blog. It makes me excited. Also, because the blog lists the titles and first lines of the most recent posts, I often consider how exciting and catchy my title and first line are.

10.This post fails that check. (Not that Samuel isn't exciting. But it should be something like, Now that I've won a Million Dollars... or, I See Dead People...).

11.I don't see dead people, but I've always been terrified that I will. When we lived in England there was supposed to be a ghost of a rector in our 350 year old home (that had been a vicarage for 320 years of its existence). I never wrote about that ghost while living there, because I was scared somehow that it would know I wrote about it. The ghost was supposed to haunt the stairs, and there were two staircases in the home, and I always hoped it was the staircase that wasn't part of our apartment.

12.Wouldn't a rector ghost be friendly? I always hoped that if I did meet him, he would tell me to read the bible, or something.

13.I believe in ghosts. I have a lot of dreams about meeting ghosts. And I believe theologically that spirits after they die who can stick around here, usually as a sort of spirit prison. Not to mention the legions of the never-born hosts of Lucifer. I believe that you could only see ghosts if you believe in them - otherwise you wouldn't believe that what you were seeing was a ghost.

14.I hate being caught in my own catch-22s, because this means that I would be able to see ghosts.

15.What have you always wanted to know about me and my thoughts? If you ask me any question in the comments I'll answer it completely, fully, and with all disclosure.