A Rose by Any Other Name

I've never had problems thinking up possible names for my children. I remember throughout my teenage years depositing such lists in my journals at various times. I even remember once staying over in Manti after seeing the Manti Pageant with Martha and friends, where Martha and I not only thought up numbers of children (and I think some names), but even names of respective spouses as well. My future husband was to be Nate Ackerman. Oh, well, I suppose said Nate is doomed to wander the eternities alone. I've thought of various names with boyfriends, fiances, and my husband.

When Avram and I were dating, in one single half-hour conversation, we came up with eight names. I'd record them here, but unfortunately that journal's in Virginia. After that experience, I thought scornfully of couples that couldn't figure out what to name their children; after all, Avram and I had thought of eight names with no problems. We'd even done middle names, too. Among these was Lydia Elizabeth, Alexander Richard, Reuven Samuel, Hyrum Seth, Charity Anne, and Miriam Laiya (or Leia, or Laya or some other spelling that reflects the Hebrew pronunciation of Leah).

Then, we actually got married, and I got pregnant. It turns out that Alexandra is something like number 15 on most popular boys names, so that was out. And everyone we knew was using the name Elizabeth, so that was out. Avram secretly hated the name Charity, because he doesn't like naming girls after virtues (he threatened to name another daughter Chastity), but of course being politic, and also doing anything he could to get me to marry him, he didn't mention this at the time. (He also didn't tell me until we were married that he absolutely hates green beans, and doing dishes. Of the two he's since repented of the latter, and now faithfully does dishes all the time. To be honest, I never told him how obsessive I am about finishing a book once I've started it, or even just my obsession in general with hobbies/activities (currently it's knitting).)

And although Hyrum and Reuven are still up for names, we first have to name our first son so his initials will be ARS, so they're down the list, especially since so far we're 0 for 2 for boys. We did stick to at least one half of one name on the list, when we named Lydia, but that's more because I had wanted to name my first daughter Lydia after my maternal grandmother, Lydia Marchant Sorensen Merrill, for long before I ever knew Avram than anything else. After Lydia was born, another complication arose, when I completely changed my mind on our theme of names. We had decided, in that not so fateful conversation of yore, to name all of our hypothetical children names from the Scriptures. Well, this went okay for one child, but then I decided out of nowhere that I felt too constricted by this decision, and that made the remaining okay names on our list even less favoured.

This brings us to today, where I'm pregnant with our second daughter, and now none of these eight "perfect" names are any help at all. (Miriam should still technically work, but I just haven't felt like this name works for me with this baby). Oh well for our one mind, and our superior powers of reason and intellect. Now were like all the other couples I know, who are scrambling around trying to think of some name. I think the difference lies in that it's comparatively easy to list of names that you like, or have meaning to you, and even relatively easy to agree on them. But then once you're talking about a real, living person, who's going to bear this same name through the eternities, and all of a sudden no name is good enough, or fitting, or whatever.

My mother always needed a reason to name us. Sometimes this was familial, in Soren (after her maiden name, Sorensen), Thora Florence (after my paternal Great-great grandmother, and great grandmother respectively), or Mary Evette (after my father's parents, Mary, and Everette. Other times they were after people she respected; Camilla after Camilla Kimball, or Neal, after three different Neals (I think one may Neal Maxwell, but I'm not sure). She told me once that when she named me she didn't even particularly like my name, but that it had a good enough reason behind it that she went forward (and likes it now).

Now, I wouldn't go that far, to name my daughter a name just because it had a reason, but I would like a name that means something more to me than I liked the combination of vowels and consonants. For one thing, at least with Lydia, I've gone through times of doubt when I've wondered if I really should have named her Lydia, or whatnot, and it's always been a comfort to me at these times, that I love my grandma Lydia, and wanted to honor her with a Lydia. Being that we're in England, the reason, or theme we'd come up with is a British name. However, just knowing that I want an uncommon (this is another thing; both Avram and I, probably because of our own names, really like names that are unusual, although not made up or anything), traditional, old-fashioned British girl's name hasn't helped me thus far.

The one name that has stuck out to me, when I've thought of it, is Aurelia. It's not technically British, but it has been used in Britain, and I've always loved the name. There's only one catch; it's Lydia's middle name. We gave it to her back when we were planning to give all of our children scriptural names, and so it was out, but now that we're not, I dearly want to use it. I've thought of plenty of other names that I love; Gweneth, Lucia, Eleanora, Elaine, Arabella, Adela, etc, etc, but none of them have stuck at all. I just can't imagine this daughter with any of those names. But then we'd have to change Lydia's middle name, and that's complicated, and everyone would think I'm weird for not being able to come up with another name, and so having to plunder my first daughter's name.

We've never called Lydia "Lydia Aurelia," or really used her middle name much, but Avram does feel like it's attached to Lydia, and so that, combined with the technical complications of changing Lydia's name has him unconvinced that this is a viable idea. But I don't like any of the name alternatives we've been able to think of thus far. And more and more, I want a name that is not only uncommon now, but has always been uncommon, so that suddenly when our daughter is a few years old her name doesn't go through a popularity boost. Lydia's name is too common for our liking (it was 126th most common girl's name in the US the year she was born). So a lot of the names that just naturally come to mind don't work, because even if they're uncommon now, they were usually very common 50-100 years ago, which based on how these cycles work, means that they will be so again. Bertha would probably be the exception to this, but this name was never in the running, so there you go.

I know that I'm still almost four months out from delivery, but I really want to think of a name before she comes, because first I would like a name to associate with her, but also for practical reasons; we have to name her the day she's born, because we need to get a passport as soon as possible, and I don't want to be stressing when I name her, so she ends up being named Murgatroyd or something just because it's what I could think of at the time.

In other baby news, we are now planning on having a home birth. I never thought I would want one, let alone have one, but it's nice to know that when I go into labour, it's on everyone else to get to me, and not the other way around. Without having the car, it really feels much less stressful to have a homebirth. And hopefully I'll have a shorter labour than I did with Lydia even.