My Chronic Doofality

I am a doofus. Complete and utter. I thinks it's chronic.

Yesterday, while napping with Lydia, I dreampt of an old fashioned donut. The kind that's a slightly irregular round circle, with lots of slightly hardened glaze on, that has lots of little edges to catch and pool the glaze. The kind that tastes delicious with a nice glass of milk. The kind that is definitively American, and not found in Britain at all.

Except there is a Krispy Kreme's here in town. And they do have old fashioned donuts - they're even sour cream ones. But every Krispy Kreme donut is a pound ten (1.10 british pounds), or $2.20. Which to me is way too much for a donut.

So after I woke up, I stayed in bed dreaming about these donuts, OFD for short, until I finally got up. An hour later found me on the internet, looking at donuts, and donut recipes, and chatting with Michele, who was sitting in the cougar eat at the time, and was so influenced by my loving descriptions of OFDs that she went and bought herself one at that very time. She ate it on my behalf, which I appreciated, but did not solve my craving. Finally I found a good recipe online that used both sour cream and buttermilk, so was clearly the height of luxury.

Luckily last night was grocery shopping night, and so I bought any missing ingredients, and came home very excited about my donuts in potentia. I know that homemade donuts are never the same as storebought, but I hoped that this once the stars would align and they would come close.
This morning I carefully pulled out all of the ingredients beforehand, like a good chef, and I made the glaze ahead of time, so that it would be all ready when the donuts were coming out, and I wouldn't get flustered. I carefully transposed the ingredients to British measurements where needed, and then I assembled my dough. I used an old recipe, so it just states 'add flour until it makes a soft dough.' I did just that, and then cooked them, glazed them, and ended up with countless donuts. It turns out it was a large recipe as well.

After they had cooled Lydia and I tried them out, and they were a bit tougher than I was expecting, and nothing really at all like the OFDs that I had been craving, but they were still donuts, and still good, so I had a few, as did she. OFDs use a cake batter, that is usually pretty yellow, and these ones were a pale white, which I thought a little odd, but all of my cooking is odd in England, so I didn't really worry about it.

It's only now, long after the donuts are made and cooled, that I thought about cleaning up, and thought of clearing the table for lunch. One of the things on the table is a carton of eggs...that I pulled out for the donuts...and never even opened. I somehow missed that step, and then because I had to add an indefinite amount of flour, I didn't notice that something was missing. So now I have fifty plus donuts in my kitchen without any eggs in them, that I can't give away, now that I know they're deficient. Being cheap, I can't throw them away (and they're not bad; just not amazing).

Avram offered to bring me home an old fashioned donut from Krispy Kreme, so that I could get the proper flavor, at least, but then that would make me a complete doofus, not just mostly one, so I declined (at least until the current donuts are long gone).

Sometimes you would never know I've been cooking for over 16 years.