Friday, January 22, 2010

What, more discussion of Sugar? Doesn't Thora have a life?

A couple of notes - I was just going to write a long comment, bet then I just decided to go with a post format instead.

First, Jami and Jen, thanks for your immediate kind feedback. Don't worry about feeling guilty. There are so many blog comments that I really meant to write, even had the window up to do so, and then just....never wrote.
Sarah, it's true, I would never last through Lent - and I think I've just convinced myself I shall never try. Angela - I didn't just fall off of the wagon because of the lack of comments. I actually had been feeling dis-satisfied with the whole fast for several days, and I suppose I hoped that some positive, "You can do it!" comments would make me feel like it was worth finishing out the month. I do feel better, but not from eating (or not eating) sugar as much as not having to worry about it. Camilla - I would do it again, but I think my personal limit is two weeks. That's enough time to detox, and feel Christmas sugar overload cured, without feeling unnecessarily deprived.

And to everyone, the chocolate chip cookies were good, although not perfect, because Avram went to buy me chocolate chips (since we had none in the house), and the store was closed since it was after nine, so he just went to CVS and came home with milk. At this point I could have given up, but I had already sifted the flour and put in baking soda and salt, so there was no turning back. So I chopped up two ounces of semi-sweet chocolate baking squares I had, and cannibalized half a package of my Andes mints for the remaining chocolate needs. So, they weren't perfect cookies, but they were good, and I now know that I have never missed out by not buying the Andes mints baking bags.

But, even with the mishap, I did not regret eating the cookies. For about a week I had begun reading dessert blogs, and the dessert sections of our cookbooks, and drooling over all of the selections. I really do enjoy making desserts - the challenge of trying new recipes, of learning new techniques, of feeling my baking skills stretched. Plus of course eating the creations. I found that I was missing that whole aspect as much as sugar itself. Since making the cookies I haven't even had one bite of Andes mints (well, besides what was in the cookies themselves). I wasn't really addicted to sugar before hand, and I don't feel like going out and binging on sugar before. And now with eating sugar again, I haven't even had all the time, even with the chocolate chip cookies hanging out in our house.

I guess I realized that I would rather just eat sugar in moderation rather than go off of it wholesale, because then I feel deprived in my life, and then I start focusing on it unduly. I guess (should I ever diet) that I should never follow one of those diets where you cut out all fat, or all sugar, or something, because it makes me focus on what I can't have, and not on what I am eating.

I've never liked binding myself to silly oaths, promises, etc. just for the sake of the oath itself. I don't feel like my "honor" is at stake if I change my mind mid month and decide that I didn't want to do it anymore anyway. Of course, for serious things (all religious oaths, etc.) I consider myself bound forever. For things like, "I won't eat sugar for a whole month" turning more into, "I won't eat sugar for 19 days, because then I'll be sick of the whole process, and just want to bake a dessert already, and stop looking at dessert cookbooks, and we'll call it good, " - I feel fine about leaving that behind once it ceases to help me, and rather I feel bound by it. More like, a guideline. Now, if were something important, like I was diabetic, and not supposed to eat too many carbohydrates, then I think I could have the self control to not do so. One thing I realized with not eating sugar is that I could be in social situations, where people around me were eating sugar, and not do so myself, and it was doable. I didn't even really miss the sugar, and more just had to fight the mentality of not celebrating reciprocity with the group.

Also, in the end I realized that I just like trying to be moderate more than extreme. Ok, so now I've blabbed on and on about this topic - I just wanted to try and be a little more clear on the subject.

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