Saturday, March 28, 2009

To my subconscious I'm a Hussy with No Ring

I had a dream the other night that I was a mistress. Several dreams, in fact. One dream I was a dancer (a dancer! I know. Ballet, I think. Reminds me of slum-bucket's {Stiva's} mistress in Anna Karenina), and in another dream I was a gypsy, who lived in SCA style pavilion tents.

I think my subconscious self was sending me a message - that it wants a wedding ring again, so everyone will know that I'm married. It's not for lack of trying that I don't have a wedding ring. (Just a reminder in case anyone's confused here. A month ago Avram and I were robbed, and among the things stolen was my wedding ring). Last week Avram and I went and looked at wedding rings. It's an estate jeweslry store, which is a fancy way of saying, "Used Jewelry," but I mainly like old fashioned ring styles, so it was a great place to go to.

I even found a very pretty ring that is an oval green garnet, surrounded by small diamond clusters, on a slender gold band. Very pretty, with a very sparkly stone. (I should mention here that I do not like Diamonds as a main stone. I like stones with some color to them. Which works well for less expensive rings. My first ring, which was 14 carot white gold, with expansive filigree and 27 small diamond chips surrounding a large oval sapphire was only $267 [on an after Christmas sale on a military base exchange, where everything is cheaper anyway.]) So this ring costs something like $400, which isn't that much for a wedding ring. But it's a lot when your first ring was cheaper, and also because I'm already married.

Despite my subconscious worries to the otherwise, I know that I'm married. And the thought of spending four hundred dollars for a sparkly stone on my finger is a little ridiculous, when detached from the whole, "symbol of love, etc, etc." When you're engaged, showing a symbol of love via a ring is very important. When you have two kids, lots of student debt to pay off, and eternal covenants and bonds tying our marriage together (from our temple sealing ceremony), Avram and I have very tangible, daily reminders of our love, mostly in two little girls that incessently wake up before I want to, plus we have more pressing financial duties, so buying a ring just to remind myself and others that I'm married seems somewhat....frivolous. Superflous.

But the green stone was sparkly.....And I do like having a wedding ring. Except not so much as to buy a fake ring from Walmart, just to have one. Not even enough to buy a plain gold band. No, if I'm going to have a superflous symbol, it better be green and sparkly (or some other color and sparkly. It's just that I've been having a love affair with green lately, and love all manifestations of the color. And I don't like the emerald cut, which basically cuts out most emerald stones.)

Avram's Mom's side of the family has sent us money to help us replace our stolen possessions. Since we're not replacing most of the movies, and my brother gave us a computer, mainly we just need to replace the wedding ring. So I do have some guilt free money to shop with (as opposed to thinking, '$400? That almost enough for a month's worth of rent! Who needs a ring, let's put it on debt. Or our rent. Or anything else that isn't just a ring.' That's what I say in the store. But then I get home, and dream about being a mistress. And I keep on seeing the ring in my mind's eye, plus other fanciful rings I haven't even seen in person yet.) And Avram's parents are keeping their eyes out at the exchange for any rings I might like.

Soon my subconscious will be be able to dream about me in a happily married state, instead of on the fringes of society. And until then I'll just look at my girls as a reminder that I'm married, even sans a sparkly ring.


  1. That is so funny what happens in your dreams. A dancer and a gypsy? That's great. You should just not get a ring for a long time and keep blogging about your dreams and see how weird and outlandish they get. :)

  2. well i just got a fake pretty sparkly ring at a store here for 6 dollars. ya its not real stones. but hey at least i look married when i am out and about with three kids and cory is not with us. which is good becuase i hate the looks people give when they think you are a poor single parent. my real ring is a bit too tight and i can get it on at the start of the day but by the end its too tight and hurts my finger and i cant get it off without soap and a bit of pain. so ya my advice is to get a fake pretty glace ring until you get the real thing. then at least you can feel married!

  3. "Hussy" has to be one of the best words in the English language.

  4. It's a pagan tradition anyway. Who needs a ring, says I!

  5. My husband doesn't even wear his ring - he finds it unbearably uncomfortable. He carries it around with him on his keychain instead. I usually wear only the wedding band - I'm not much into sparkley these days, either. I am, however, very very into knitting and spinning. I have my own spinning wheel now!

  6. I have no complaints, because I do still have my wedding ring. However, I never got a band with my engagement ring so I still get people who think I'm engaged and not actually married. Although it's silly I know that one day I'll get my band (even if it has cubic zirconium on it to make it as inexpensive as possible). I can't bear spending much on something as non-essential as a wedding band, but I can't help myself. I like for people to know I'm married too.