Monday, July 28, 2008

Beyond the Yellow Brick Road...

I want a Mama's Boy. Or maybe Elisheva can grow into a Mama's girl, because currently it ain't looking so good for Lydia being a Mama's anything. Don't get me wrong, I know that Lydia loves me, and kisses me good night before going downstairs - with her father, who reads her three books in her room every night before bedtime. Because he's the favored parent.

It's been this way a long time; Lydia loves her Daddy, and he's been her best friend for nigh on a year now, basically since I weaned her. I'm okay with this, after all, I love her Daddy too, and he's my best friend as well (he's a well-loved man). But sometimes I wish that she wanted me, instead of him.

Now we're living at Avram's parent's house for a couple of months, and Lydia has a new best friend; her Grandma. Or as Lydia calls her, her Mom. We think this is because Avram calls her Mom, and Grandma is trying to turn this into Mum, but the fact remains, Lydia loves her to death.

I understand; Mum blows bubbles with her, and cooks with her, and takes time to read to her and play to her. I, I am significantly lamer.

All my hopes are now on either having a boy who will love me, or Elisheva turning into a Mama's girl.

(And yes, I know that kids go through stages, and such, and soon I'll be the only adult in her life the vast majority of the time, and that might help.)

(I'm aware the title has nothing to do with this post. I was just thinking of the Elton John song, when he sang it on the Muppet's Show.)


  1. I also have this weird thought that my kids won't like me. I am convinced that they will just love Ben like all my nieces and nephews do. I mean kids just love Ben. He is great with them. Has Elisheva shown any preference. Or dose that just have to do with feeding?
    I love you

  2. My husband is a much cooler person than I am. He plays the trumpet and reads stories "silly" by changing the end of sentences. He gives them rides in the air. It's hard to compete after the breast milk dries up. But generally they come back to loving me again once they figure out that I know how to make COOKIES.

    I wish you many a moment when your kids need you and only you. But not too many, if you know what I mean.

  3. If Willow could have one arm wrapped around each of us, I think that she would. I am fortunate that I get to come home early many days of the week. I am wondering what will change once I am gone for long periods of time.

  4. Usually one parent is more the disciplinarian than the other and that parent is the least liked. I was definitely that parent in our household. Discipline is a nasty job but someone has to do it. Yesterday Roxie called up and asked if she could come and play. Don played with her for an hour before he had to go to work and then I played with her for another hour until Mandie came and picked her up. It was fun. Lydia can come and play anytime. I wish she really could.

  5. yeah good luck with that one, Cardon definantly is NOT a mammas boy. He too prefers his dad. Kaliya still prefers me, but somehow I think she only likes me cuz I nurse her :)

  6. well dont count on a boy liking you more just becuase he is a boy. Porter has always loved cory best. Cory has to buckly him up, read his stories, get him dressed, and cory always gets the run into you and jump hugs when he leaves or comes home. Oh he also gets kissed from porter, i dont recal EVER being kissed by porter! Theo loved me best.. till he was 14 months old and i weaned him. Now he likes cory best too. I tell myself its because he is just following porters lead. but i worry i am just not that cool. Well in reality i am not! Cory is only here for the fun, playing sword fight and video games and baseball and soccer in the back yard. I am here for all the daily nagging about eating your food and cleaning up and making them take naps and go to bed. I am the mean one that turns the tv off, says no we cant go to the park when its 2 in the afternoon and 100 degrees. Oh well. Maybe they will be momma boys when they are older and can appretiate me cooking and doing all the laundry for all these years. Or maybe i can get a girl one day that will love me best. At least i know while i am nursing this baby boy will love me best of all! which is good becuase cory has his hands full witht he other two fighting for his attention all day!

  7. From time to time it does seem that one child prefers one parent over the other or a grand parent over a parent. Over time things will settle down as you move away.

    Think of this from Lydia's point of view. Once she was the center of you and Avi's lives but then mommy becomes pregnant and cannot provide for Lydia the way she did before. Daddy helps pick up the slack and they form a fast bond. Lydia though still wants attention even from Mom but suddenly there is new competition for that attention a beautiful little sister Elisheva. Mom has to take extra time with Elisheva to feed her and hold her and doesn't quite have as much time as she did before. Suddenly the world changes again and Lydia finds herself back in Virginia with a very attentive Grandmother who lovingly provides her with attention. So though it may seem that Lydia is not a momma's girl it may only be because she to is adapting to the new situation of a little sister and a big move. I'm sure that she still loves you very much and I know that you know that.

    I have not said anything in this reply that has not be said or thought I just thought I'd corroborate with others to support you.

  8. Oh, I wish I could loan you my boy-o for an afternoon. He's four now, but has always been a momma's boy. I love it, love it, love it (except for when I need "me" time)! And I try not to gloat too much in front of my hubby. :) He does have his little princess, though. Gosh, we should probably stop at two, huh? I'm afraid if we add another, our "perfect" little arrangement might get blown to smithereens!

  9. You know, Freud has things to say about this sort of thing...