An Open Letter to Family, Friends, and the Criminal Element of Ohio

I've spent the last week in Virginia, on a stealth vacation from both blogging and cooking. It was not meant to be a hiatus from blogging. Avram's parent's live in Northern Virginia, so we went and let the Grandparents coddle our kids while we sat around and pretended to be lazy (it was pretending, I promise). A couple of days in, when I had had my fill of sitting around and pretending to read Hermann Hesse while actually dozing, I decided to write a blog post. But then my Mother and law and Avram mentioned that in the morning's newspaper had been an article about how the rate of burglary goes up when people mention that they are on vacation on their blogs. Clearly this was a sign that if I mentioned we were absent from our home that somehow the criminal element in Columbus would stumble across my blog, and immediately know my last name and address, and come and lift the remaining DVDs they neglected to steal the first time, and the replaced $30 DVD player from Wal*mart.

So you never heard my humourous open letter to this very same criminal element, detailing out what they could expect to find in my humble abode, which letter I composed mentally while lying around (and this is important) neither reading nor sleeping, but while actually thinking. Nor have you yet heard about mine and Avram's romantic day getaway to the Smithsonian (wherein I snagged an Travertine Mortar and Pestle made in Pakistan) (It was romantic, too. There is nothing better than connecting together over the Code of Hammurabi, listening to my husband translate it, from the (plaster mold of) the code itself. Some of you may think I am joking, but others will know that in this at least I am dead serious.). I am sorry to have bereft you of my voice (and Mom, I'm really sorry I never called you while there, and told you I was actually on vacation. Same thing to you Mary. And to the eight other hang up messages on my phone from no one (since we don't have caller ID, I can only assume it's one you, my dear readers). I love you too, and you can call me now.)

At least for the next week, since a week from Monday I'm flying out to Utah for Nine days with my Girls for loads of too much excitement, plus a family reunion at Yellowstone Park. Feel free to make appointments with Moi and we'll hang out and pretend to read and sleep together. I'm not sure how much more vacationing I can take. But beware, for all the burlars reading this - Avram will be home. Cleaning his shotgun.